Dear Everyone, I haven't been doing much latly, i've just been thing a lot. I gess yu could say i've been thinking about everything and nothing all at the same time. The reason behind my thinking? i really don't know. I gess its just the only place i feel safe if with my self. OFF SUBJECT: last week me and my mom had a horribal fight, i can't tell all but it got so bad that i ran away. ahen my mom finally got me back in the house i locked myself in my room and cried for hours. i don't really know why and i know it scared her, because i never cry... over anything..... i gess i was cring over all the things in my past, how recent events have ripped the cuts that I sware were healed and made them bleed agion. then i told her everything... everything that i had held back.. everything that i was scared of her knowing. They say the hardest part of life is living throught the tough times. I don't agree. I belive the hardest part is looking back on the memories and remembering every little or big mistake you made and thinking well God, if I would have only done this or if I would have only seen that coming. A person can only stand so much "remembering" befor they just absoulutly hate them selfs and befor you know it your living it all over agion. Thats the hard part remembering when all you want to do is crawl up in a ball and just think and be oblivious to the world. poem: I'm thinking like the wind all thoughts astry and frayed if this life i could only grasp could a gain the strenght to take of my mask I'm lost in my self-being the kindeling fires of hell are feeding i just don't know should i as find myself befor thay dig my hole begining to understand that i need Gods helping hand should i die tonight to these thoughts,i shall still cling tight | 
